I've been hesitant forever to start a blog. Mostly because that's exactly what Utah needs, another girl who thinks her shit is so brilliant and all her ideas, marriage, fashion and life (accompanied by pictures) are so fantastic that she needs to write a blog post then share it on Facebook.

To be totally honest, I have no idea on how this blog even works. How you get the fonts all cute and a back ground to match.. but luckily I'm not here to make my literary decorative skills popular.

To start my series of unread blogs, lets start will the realist shit. Be tolerant of my lack of creative writing skills. Perhaps this in an angry rant that has no purpose or validity, but isn't that basically all blogs are anyway?

The purpose of a girl in Utah is either, to get married and post happy pictures with chevron stripes on every social media sight, a blog update on your family, post inspirational quotes and DIY pins. Or, if you're anti all that crap you're usually putting up pictures of your coffee and study sessions and justifying all the reasons why it's okay for you to be single and that everyone else is simply getting married too young and wasting their life on babies. As if anyone actually cares that you're still single and happy, congrats.

Then there is my category. The category of misfits. The band of non-belonging.
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that the world is full of lies all the time and thats not even the problem. The problem with all that is that the people who see the lies, know that they're being lied to and they're okay with it because reality is TOO hard to imagine. I mean, Instagram really DOES make life seem so great, I think like pathological liars... after a while.. you start to believe that shit is real.

The realist shit is when I was at murray park this last weekend and my friend saw an old couple dancing in the woods in the leaves and fall colors. He had just had 3 surgeries, and was on an oxygen tank, didn't have much and yet there they were, dancing in the cold fall woods. Happy.
Everyone has heard a story like that, and when we get married that's what we aspire for. The 1990's and on babies have been falsified on how to get to the happy dancing in the woods with your eternal companion. Yes, ah. Here we are yet again. Social Media, that shit is a problem. Another person who will say it, but is simultaneously logged onto Facebook while writing this Blog.

Lets be specific, I'm in no way here to say DON'T share your pictures on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Blogs... I am here to say that just because cinderella found a sugar daddy and rode off into the sunset in a pumpkin, I can promise there's a reason Disney doesn't make many sequels to that shit. Because it would be Cinderalla 20 pounds heavier, feeling depression, neglect, and prince charming with regret because their life is nothing like that night with the glass slipper.

Okay, NOW here's the real shit.
How you get to that real love when you're old and your parts sag low.


Date for much longer than you think you should.
People get married TOO fast. I think love is something you will experience with many people in your life, to love someone is easy. To chose to love someone forever, that's almost impossible. You have to make the CHOICE each day. I always said "divorce is never an option" but now, I realize that DIVORCE IS AN OPTION. That's what makes marriage so powerful.. is that it's making an active choice to not leave, to love even when you don't like. You commit each day, every day. Not just one time, trust me. You'll always need to recommit your self to your relationship.

 Love, is tolerance.
My dad would get so grumpy with my mom, and my mom would get annoyed at him for being too lazy sometimes. I used to think I wanted my married life to be way better than that. We will fight, but not like that. We will be so much better.
HA. HA. HA.
Really, the truest kind of love is accepting the shit that the other person brings on board. WE ALL DO. You have shit, everyone has it. You cannot change your spouse, nor is it your job. If your spouse is engaged in something that is damaging to their well being and the well being of your marriage, approach it with LOVE. If you drown something in love, it makes the solution easier. You may not always be able to understand, but you don't always have to.

Every relationship is different and the problems are common.
Stop comparing your marriage to other peoples. Chances are the dynamics of their relationship is so different than yours its an unfair comparing game. So stop it. Now that you're not comparing, you should know that a lot of the problems you face are far more common than you would think because no one talks about them. Which, we don't like the over posters of bad drama on your news feed so thats also why we don't hear about it. So get it together, deal with it. Seriously. Get help, see a therapist. IT WONT HURT YOU TO GET HELP, EVER.

Finally, Love means different things to different people.
With that being said, you may try to love your spouse the best way you know how, which is great and all, but ineffective in meeting their needs. Everyone gets married because they think it will bring happiness to their life. It can do that if you are trying to understand WHAT love means to your spouse and they do the same. Tell them. No one can read minds. Meet these needs the best you can, also be patient in your needs. Change and love take time. You shouldn't ever depend on another person for your happiness, so be a complete person before you get married and have your needs be met.


Alright thats my two pennies on relationship. No relationship is destined for failure, but we see divorces all over the place and wonder HOW that loving couple got there, how does that even happen? Life makes it happen. Falling apart is east. Staying together is much harder. It's the hardest shit you will ever do in your life, to be married.

But it is one of the most rewarding, happy, fun, things you will ever do.